Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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