I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
