Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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