The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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