Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
