just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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