I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize