my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
