Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
