i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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