Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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