At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
