you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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