In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
People in love make me want to vomit
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
