I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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