Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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