He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We are all done wearing pants today
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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