i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
