Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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