Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
