do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
