i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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