im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
