I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
