either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
