well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
