I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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