Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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