I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
