Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
