It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
