I just made out with a guy for $7.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
