Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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