I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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