There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
