So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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