i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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