tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
