i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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