Do vagina's smell?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
