wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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