Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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