Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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