So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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