Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
