grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
