she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
