I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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