You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize