new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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