Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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