a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
