he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
last night I used snow as a chaser
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
