i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
