Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
