Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
