hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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