I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
