No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
