basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize