im having a threesome with these popsicles
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
