obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
