I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize