see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Acid is not a monday night drug
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
