I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
