Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
being pregnant is like rehab
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
