im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
