why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
