dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
