what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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