no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
