So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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