best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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