just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
